Hopeful, discouraged. Energized, exhausted. My experiences at COP29 have been filled with dichotomies, these being just a couple.

Hope. This was what I was seeking out, what I wanted to see amongst fellow observers. By the time the first few days had passed, I wasn’t really sure what hope meant to me anymore. Was it hope around a plan to combat climate change, hope that those leading the climate justice movement were doing for the right reasons, or hope concerning my stamina to continue doing the on the ground work? Each day brought a different definition of hope, and what I believed had the promise to be hopeful about changed on a daily basis. That being said, what gave me the most hope were the parameters that were put up around observers, specifically NGOs. Not being allowed to go into certain meeting rooms, being shoved through the crowd by security guards, all goes to show our power. There is a reason why they don’t want us here. They know that if we continue to fight, we are the fossil fuel industry and capitalist greed’s biggest threat.

Discouragement. While some conversations with fellow delegates gave me hope and I could really feel them digging their boots into the grassroots movement, others did the opposite. I watched as a youth movement that I grew up idolizing began to care more about their recognizability than the work that they do. Everything felt performative to some degree. I questioned what activism was, and had to reassure myself that my work was valid even though they looked down upon me for not having photo ops at all the events I worked on. Beyond my experiences at the conference itself, the hypocrisy of the COP system weighed on me. The government threw their people to the side to create a picture perfect city for the delegates, and each citizen suffered in a multitude of ways. Kicked out of work, off the streets, out of their houses. Overall, I was disappointed in the many layers of performative behavior from the host and visitors alike.

Energized. While I have felt my ups and downs of the week, one thing has remained clear: the work that we are doing in Minnesota is more important now than ever. I have questioned my capacity to continue organizing as it feels like leaders will continue to try and stop us throughout this week. The climate crisis is more serious now than ever, and we owe it to the planet to keep pushing- no matter how many people try to silence us.

Exhausted. After a whole week of full days, I am sitting waiting to begin my 23 hour journey home. I can’t think of a more telling way to explain my exhaustion than to end my sentence right here.

Lucia is a Climate Generation Window Into COP delegate for COP29. To learn more, we encourage you to meet the full delegation, support our delegates, and subscribe to the Window Into COP digest.

I am Lucia Everist, a recent highschool graduate from the Twin Cities Metro area. I am extremely passionate about fighting for policy change to combat the climate crisis, and tend to focus on bills related to fossil fuel divestment and climate justice. My work with Climate Generation began last year as a Youth Environmental Activist (YEA!) leader, and I cannot wait to continue my work with the organization at COP this coming fall. I hope to use this experience to share my voice as a youth activist and to spread the message to others about the importance of younger generations being involved in the policy process.

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The Dichotomies Leaving COP29