How To Find Your Style Words (Plus 100 Examples)

On my slow fashion journey, I’ve been continually exploring ways to get clearer on my personal style, and few practices have been as helpful as defining my style words.

I’m going to share my process of uncovering my style words through three different stylists’ methods, which I hope will offer you some insights into defining your own personal style as well.

Before we dive into the nitty gritty, let’s start with the basics…

What Are Style Words?

Style words are adjectives that help describe your personal approach to dressing.

You’ve probably used style words already to describe what you wear: think words like classic or modern, bold or minimal, refined or relaxed, glam or casual, masculine or feminine.

The problem that many of us have run into with this is that it’s really difficult to pick just one word to encapsulate something as layered and personal as our own style.

That’s why many stylists and style content creators suggest selecting three words — and are clear that these words can evolve throughout your life.

How to Find Your Style Words

There are several methods to finding your style words and each may resonate with you in a different way. On my own personal style journey, I’ve tried all of them!

• Allison Bornstein’s Three Word Method
• Alyssa Beltempo’s Three Word Rule
• Amy Smilovic’s Three Adjectives

Below I’ll break down what each method entails and share my own personal experience with these methods.

There isn’t one that is objectively better or worse, but you might resonate with one more than another or like to experiment with all three to see which method leads to the best results.

The Three Word Method

Allison Bornstein has a step-by-step approach (that’s gone viral on TikTok) to finding your three style words.

What is the Three Word Method?

In this personal style method, developed by Bornstein, your first style word is a practical word, your second style word is an aspirational word, and your third style word is an emotional word.

Word 1: Practical Word

Essentially, this is a realistic look at what your style is now.

Bornstein recommends to go to your wardrobe and pull out your “regulars”. This is what you actually wear all the time, not what you wish you wore or want to wear.

Look for similarities among these regulars and sort out what word you might use to describe these pieces. Are all of these pieces oversized? Casual? 70s inspired?

For me, the first style word I found was feminine. My most-worn pieces are the ones with a feminine element, like a ruffle, romantic, an eyelet knit, or a floral print.

Word 2: Aspirational Word

The second word, Bornstein explains, is how you would describe what you want your style to become or how you ideally would want to dress.

Perhaps this might be how you describe the pieces in your closet that you wish you wore but you don’t.

Or if you’ve been following a lot of style content on social media, check your saved images or screenshots. If you use Pinterest, what’s on your style board?

Then among those images (or the pieces you’d love to wear that are already in your wardrobe), figure out if there are commonalities. Are all of these styles bold and colorful? Warm and neutral? Minimal and sleek? Oversized? Y2K?

After looking at my aspirational style screenshots and saved Pins, I was still unsure what exactly my second word would be. The looks I saved were certainly feminine, but that was already covered in my first word.

Other words that came up were natural or down-to-earth (a lot of natural fabrics and materials) and structured (like a bag with a solid structure) or elegant (like a tweed blazer).

But then I looked back at my favorite outfits, and realized that the looks I felt best in were the ones that had a feminine and structured element. For example a moto jacket with a flowy skirt or straight-leg jeans with a ruffled blouse.

Word 3: Emotional Word

The last word is perhaps the most interesting, but also the most challenging, word to figure out.

The final word is how you want to feel in your clothes. Do you want to feel powerful? Sexy? Warm? Joyful? Relaxed? Bornstein describes this as the “finishing touch” to your style.

Finding my third word took me months to refine!

It wasn’t until I watched this video of Bornstein where she helped a friend, Grace, find her three style words that I finally settled on the word “warm”.

This felt like the perfect word to round out my three words. I want to feel comfortable and look welcoming in my style. My first two words (feminine and structured) could come with the risk of appearing too unapproachable or stiff.

At first I thought my third word might be “cozy”, because that encapsulates how I want to feel. I don’t just want to feel comfortable, but I want to be comforted by my clothes. And cozy seemed to describe that.

However, with some of my outfits, integrating “cozy” felt too casual. It was also a bit tougher to interpret a word like cozy in summer when I just want to dress as cool as possible, though I do like adding in a pop of color or joy.

So when Bornstein shared that “warm” could be interpreted as joyful too, it felt like the perfect style word.

In warmer months I’ll interpret warm as joyful and playful. Whereas in cooler months, I may interpret warm as feeling warm with a cozy sweater.

During any season, I also might interpret warm as grounded or down-to-earth and integrate a natural element, like a straw hat or bamboo bag. So warm to me integrates the “natural” word I listed above as a contender for my second word.

And that’s the beauty of style words — it’s about how you interpret them. They’re there to help you get dressed in outfits you love and be more mindful of your purchases. No one else has to know your style words or understand them!

My Results After Trying the Three Word Method

So with Bornstein’s method, I came to my final three words being: Feminine, Structured, Warm.

These feel quite true to me. When I look at my favorite outfits in terms of appearance, they bring in both the feminine and structured elements. And when I think about my favorite outfits in terms of comfort, they bring in an element of warmth.

My style words from the Three Word Method feel quite tangible. They’re specific enough that I can answer “yes” or “no” when I ask myself “does this outfit embody my 3 words?

But they’re also flexible enough that I can use them to get dressed from the clothes already in my closet (and I don’t need to buy anything new).

The Three Word Style Rule

If you want to explore a slightly different approach, Alyssa Beltempo, a slow fashion stylist and content creator, has a 3 Word Rule to help find your personal style that is a bit more flexible.

What is the Three Word Rule?

Alyssa Beltempo shares three methods to find your style words with her Three Word Rule: your go-to’s your functional word, and your inspirational word.

Unlike Bornstein’s Three Word Method, Beltempo explains that you can use just one of these processes to find all three of your style words as well if you prefer.

Your Go-Tos

Similar to Bornstein’s “regulars”, Alyssa suggests to find your first word (or all of your words) by finding the comment elements of style among your go-to items. The elements of style Alyssa talks about often on her channel — and in her Shop Your Closet events — are silhouette, texture, proportions, color, and vibe.

Again, my word here would be feminine. I tend to wear feminine silhouettes (fitted waists, v-necks, flutter sleeves and flowy skirts), colors (I like to wear pastels for daytime) and textures (like soft and silky).

A Functional Word

The second method or the source of your second word should answer questions like, what does your lifestyle look like? Or what are the favorite parts of your day?

As Beltempo shares, “when we look at [style] words from a personality perspective or a lifestyle perspective, it can also help us make decisions that are more in alignment with who we are or what we do every day.”

This could be a word like comfortable or carefree if you work from home or have a busy life. Your word could also be polished if you go into an office regularly with a strict dress code.

Finding my functional word was a bit challenging for me at first. I work from home and so the easy word here would be “comfortable”. That word, though, feels too obvious and not all that helpful when picking out outfits.

And it comes with the risk of being interpreted as wearing sweatsuits everyday. There’s nothing wrong with that if that is what you enjoy wearing each day, but it didn’t resonate with me.

So then I decided to go a bit deeper and less literal. I want to be comfortable, yes, but when do I feel most comfortable?

And when I thought about what comfort is to be, the word grounded came up.

I love a floral dress and a pleated skirt, but I need a textured rattan bag or a sneaker to ground it. The word grounded inspires an earthiness and also a sense of functionality. It also describes my personality, which I’d describe as down-to-earth, along with other adjectives.

I like to live simply and I’m not drawn to flashy things. Being at home with a book is often more appealing to me than a party out! But I wouldn’t describe my style as minimalist. So grounded feels like the right word here.

Inspirational Word

Finally, Beltempo suggests to create a style inspiration moodboard, or reference an existing one, and then pull out the key theme(s). This can be your way to find your third word or all three of your words.

This is quite similar to Bornstein’s aspirational word.

So I also had the same word here: structured. I noticed that my favorite casual outfits had a rougher, more structured element, like a pair of jeans or solid belt and my favorite formal outfits also brought in structure through a bag or footwear choice.

My Results from the Three Word Rule

I ended up taking one word from each process, so my results were quite similar to the results I had with the Three Word Method. My words here would be Feminine, Grounded, and Structured.

The main difference of Alyssa Beltempo’s Three Word Rule is that instead of an “emotional” word, we’re finding a word that’s a bit more functional or more personal.

I actually really like the word “grounded” that I came to with this method.

The Three Adjectives Method

Amy Smilovic, the Founder and Creative Director of Tibi is also an advocate for using three adjectives to define your personal style. She doesn’t necessarily name the method, but she does share an exercise for finding your adjectives.

And Smilovic’s method might be completely different from anything you’ve heard of before.

She suggests that you do not look at what you wear regularly nor do you ask your friends or family for their opinions. Instead she suggests to look to quotes to help peel your style adjectives back.

Smilovic proposes this method because the feeling you get from your favorite quotes is “visceral… they reveal your thoughts and aspirations.”

Quotes aren’t about approval or external validation (whereas what we wear often can be) so quotes can be a way to dig deeper into our personal style.

How to Find Adjectives From Your Quotes

This method requires a bit more creativity, to be sure. I looked through my Pinterest board of “Inspirational Quotes” and my screenshots on my phone.

I have so many quotes that I like, so it was challenging to narrow it down to three. But I tried to think about the quotes that I felt a deep pull towards — ones that give me that “visceral” feeling.

The three quotes I decided on were…

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu

In terms of adjectives, this quote makes me feel of relaxed, calm, easygoing, carefree, flowy, flexible, tranquil, chill, and casual.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” – Alice Walker

The first adjective I think of is powerful, but also confident, energetic, compelling, dynamic, and capable.

“The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”- Chinese Proverb

When I read this proverb, it gives me the chills. I think of words like resilient, steadfast, expansive, persistent, enduring, and determined.

My Results from the Three Adjectives Method

Now comes the interesting part!

I looked at the adjectives from the quotes and thought about which terms would best translate into style words. That might be Relaxed, Confident, and Enduring. Words like energetic and dynamic could also be style words, though for my own personal style I tend not to gravitate towards bold and colorful pieces.

Finding my three adjectives was interesting and I appreciate the emphasis on defining your style as something that comes from within.

That said, I’m not necessarily clearer on what to actually wear after finding my adjectives, like relaxed and confident.

Perhaps this is because I picked quotes that were more inspirational rather than practical. Or it could be because I need to spend some more time and thought on how these adjectives can also be style words.

So all this to say that this particular method hasn’t worked for me thus far. Perhaps though, the adjectives method will result in your own personal style epiphany! I think it’s still fun to give it a try, if for nothing else but a self-reflection process.

A Style Word Ideas List

You might now be thinking, ok this all sounds great. But how do I think of style words? What could my style words be? Here is a list of 100 style word ideas to get you started.

How to Use Your Style Words

Ok so now that you have your style words, what do you do with them? How do they help you with your personal style?

There seem to be a few main benefits to having your three style words in mind.

1. Having Style Words Makes Creating Outfits Easier

Your style words can help you clear out all the noise of what you “should” be wearing and help you put together outfits that are uniquely you.

In practice, this could look like picking out a piece from your wardrobe that satisfies each style word and use that to create a look that suits your individual style.

For example, if my words were feminine, structured, and warm, I might include one feminine piece (like an eyelet ruffled top), a couple structured pieces (like a pair of straight leg denim jeans and a structured leather bag) and a piece that makes me feel warm and welcoming (like a pair of natural raffia sandals or a whimsical piece of jewelry).

Smilovic suggests that you should be able to describe each piece you own and buy with your three words. Personally, I find this method challenging in practice because my words are somewhat different from each other. And this focus on the individual garment leaves me a bit stuck when I try to create outfits.

Though you might find that simplified method really helpful, especially if your words are more similar.

For my style, I like this idea of “tension” in an outfit that Alyssa Beltempo and Allison Bornstein talk about. It makes the outfit feel less like a style archetype you might get from a quiz in a magazine and more individualized.

Bornstein even emphasizes that the people with the best and most interesting style often have contrasting or even opposite style words.

2. Style Words Help You Buy Fewer, Better Aligned Pieces

Shopping, like anything else in life, is often easier with a strategy.

Many of us talk about wanting to be more intentional with our purchases and yet actually doing this in practice is a lot more difficult. It’s just too easy to get swept away with marketing campaign imagery and persuaded by what everyone else is wearing on Instagram.

Your style words can act as a filter.

When you’re trying to decide if you should buy a piece or not, you can ask yourself: “does this meet one of (or a couple of) my style words?”

Again, Amy Smilovic suggests that each piece you buy should meet all three of your words. Maybe this works for you if your words are complementary!

However, if your words are contrasting you probably just want to look for one (maximum two) of your style words in a piece at a time.

When this is the case, I find it helpful to ask if I can wear that piece with another garment already in my closet that meets one of my other words. I.e. if a piece would fall within my “feminine” style word, I’d ask: “does this go with one of my structured or more grounded pieces in my wardrobe?”

This helps me purchase pieces that I know I’ll get a lot of wear out of and avoid making a purchase that just sits in my closet for the next five years.

It also helps me totally eliminate purchases. If a piece doesn’t fit under at least one of my style words, it’s a no. Sometimes a piece looks fabulous on someone else but when you actually think about wearing it yourself, it just doesn’t feel right.

3. Your Style Words Help You Wear Your Unworn Pieces

No matter how much of a minimalist or slow fashion advocate you are, I think it’s safe to say that we have all had pieces in our closet that went unworn.

Your style words can help change that, though.

As Bornstein suggests, when you’re not sure how to wear with a piece — whether it’s a brand new item or just something you haven’t worn — you can define it with one of your words, and then bring in something from one of your other words.

Let me illustrate this with a real example from my closet. I have a blazer that alone, just felt too masculine and serious for my style. Using this idea of pairing my words together, though, I paired that structured blazer with a fun blouse and “grounding” pair of boots. All of the sudden the blazer felt like a natural fit.

So Is It Worth It To Find Your Style Words?

While it can take time to really refine your style words, I would say yes, it’s so worth it!

Finding my style words has been immensely helpful in creating looks that I feel comfortable in — I am finally able to pin down what it is about an outfit that makes it feel like “me”.

Now when I look back at some of my favorite outfits, it’s so clear why I love them — because there are elements of each part of me within those outfits.

In terms of knowing what to buy, the style words help me a bit as well. I tend to gravitate towards wanting to buy feminine pieces — lace trim, ruffles, florals! — and forget about the fact that I also like some solidity to my outfits as well.

So these style words have helped me balance out my purchasing decisions so I’m not stuck with a wardrobe that feels too frilly.

I’d love to hear about how your process for finding your style words goes as well!

And if you want to dive deeper into personal style, our contributor Stella wrote a great piece, How to Find Your Personal Style (and Why It Matters).

The post How To Find Your Style Words (Plus 100 Examples) appeared first on Conscious Life & Style.

How To Find Your Style Words (Plus 100 Examples)

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